Often conflict happens as we donot appreciate others. A small misunderstanding snowballs into a conflict and then violence. This happens in case of individuals , groups , work groups and nations. On the other hand , just saying superficial hello or quantitatively sending messages donot help much.
In the books "I am ok- Yo are ok" and "What do you say after you say hello", these things are already explained .

I consider two areas of blocking for the expression of appreciation :-one is gender- interface blocking another is age and heiarchy -blocking. In case of inter-personal interaction , appreciating the two realities i.e. body and mind , is important. Some one having a beautiful face or a clothe or a happy face , need to be appreciated . Similarly , a good idea or work has to be appreciated.We fail to do it in case of gender relations . A man fear to appreciate the beauty of a woman and so also a woman about a man unless they are bf and gf. Similarly , a good piece of work is often not appreciated by peers or boss ,thinking it as a small thing. Similarly , we don't appreciate an aged person or a boss but expect them to appreciate us.

On the other side, there is also a problem of receivers . Some people , groups , nations , develop a immunity to take appreciation. When someone appreciates , they distrust him/her , simply they resist to accept. By accepting they donot lose in any way. They are not children who could be manipulated through an appreciation. This is a sadist situation which means that they keep huge deposits of hostility and suspicion and like to build it further.

I have come across a situation where i posted few appreciating comments and suddenly the moderator warms me to not put so much in a day ! Probably he is resistant to happiness or appreciation . When there is no complain from the receivers and they donot delete the messages what is the problem of the moderator! People in power , whether they are prime ministers or a website administror , should always allow free flow of happiness and appreciation among people. Thatis why I always say all cannot be a good peace trainer or peace facilitator or administrator of peace network or peace building NPOs or even there should be ban on leaders to become president / prime ministers who have problems in receiving and giving positive strokes.


Looking at the dynamics between nations , ugly aspects are always much highlighted but not the postive aspects.

People who are peace workers should possess internal happiness and they should keep recharging it every day. This is a part of sustainable living principle.

I am finding less appreciating culture in the nets . Some people are posting common messages , some say hello just to complete a task and some are trying to quantitatively post just a word in everybody's profile. Some use to post big attachments in the comments where it is difficult to open that page by others. Quantity is not important but quality.

After the Nov Bomaby attack , both India and pakistan are hyping up war hysteria not coming to some talks . This is beacuse they donot appreciate each other in normal times.

Lalit
MA ( sociology) , Bachelor of Law

www.internationalsustainableliving.ning.com