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Eileen R. Borris
- Director of training for the…
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Eileen R. Borris's Page
Latest Activity
Forgiveness stories are inspiring. Reading about the Cooney family is no exception. On Thursday, March 18th, 2010 a hearing took place in which the family of a Duluth murder victim begged for the mercy. The entire courtroom including the judge was r…
Are you still holding on to hurtful feelings about something that has happened in the past? Pain can be difficult to let go of. And yet have you ever realized that by holding on to these painful feelings you are giving away your power and control to…
There is truth n what you just said - and believe it or not our brains can be goaded into blaming. And that strategy is short term. Ultimately you want people to take responsbility for their actions. There is actually a way to also goad our brains t…
Blaming does indeed cause more pain. But there are some unfortunate circumstances where blaming can be justified and even if one feels so much pain, they find it satisfying to blame someone.
I remember a friend of mine telling me how mad she was at her mother. It seemed as though every time they got into a car together they would fight. There was a litany of reasons why my friend would not forgive her mother – the least of which she was…
I am speaking on Psych of Forgiveness Sat 3/13 at ASU Law for AZ Assoc for Conflict Res. for info contact kjosterman@earthlink.net
Profile Information
- Please feel free to provide a short bio about yourself or the work of your organization (no more than 3 paragraphs)
- Dr. Borris-Dunchunstang is the Director of Training for the Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy in Washington DC. As Director of Training Dr. Borris-Dunchunstang designs and implements training programs in international conflict resolution, negotiation, dialogue and peacebuilding incorporating processes of forgiveness, trauma healing and reconciliation within the broader context of international peacebuilding. She has worked with Indian and Pakistani Kashmiri’s and has worked in Pakistan, India including with the Tibetan Government in Exile, Nepal, the Middle East, Indonesia, and Tbilisi, Georgia. Dr. Borris-Dunchunstang has worked for USAID and UNIFEM and has shared her work in forgiveness and reconciliation at many national and international conferences including the DPI/NGO conference at the United Nations. Dr. Borris- Dunchunstang teaches forgiveness and reconciliation at the Peacebuilding and Development Institute which is part of the School of International Service at American University, the National Defense University and at the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution at George Mason University. She is a past president of the Society for the Study of Peace, Conflict and Violence and former committee member for the Committee of International Relations in Psychology of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Eileen R. Borris- Dunchunstang is a licensed psychologist with a private practice in Paradise Valley, Arizona specializing in mind/body approaches to health and healing with a special focus on individuals with cancer, forgiveness, stress management and working with troubled relationships including separation and divorce. She received her doctorate in psychology from Columbia University.
Dr. Borris is the author of Finding Forgiveness: A 7 Step Program for letting go of Anger and Bitterness. Finding Forgiveness became a finalist for “Books for a Better Life Award” and was one of the books chosen for the 30th annual National Press Club Book Fair. Dr Borris speaks nation wide on the topic of forgiveness from the personal to its impact on International Affairs.
- Please list the countries and/or regions in which you (or your organization) have direct and significant expertise
- A focal point of her work is on the region of South Asia especially Kashmir, India including with the Tibetan government in exile and Nepal where I haveworked for over 10 years. I have also worked with women in the Middle East, India, Pakistan, Indonesia, Nepal and in Tbilisi, Georgia.
- What is your current country of residence (or location of your organization)?
- United States
- What is your current job (and organization) and/or where and what field are you studying?
- Director of training for the Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy
- Which are your primary sectoral areas of expertise (or the primary sectoral areas of your organization) ?
- Peacebuilding, Conflict Resolution, Gender, Civil Society, Psychosocial
- Which are your primary skills areas(or the primary skill areas of your organization)?
- Training, Intervention
- What are some of your current areas of research (if any)?
- Forgiveness and reconciliation
- If appropriate feel free to list several of your (or your organization's) publications
- 9/06 Borris, E.R. Forgiveness: A 7-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness. McGraw-Hill, New York, (2006)
8/06 Borris, E. R. “The Healing Power of Forgiveness and the Resolution of Protracted Conflicts.” In .), Handbook of International Disaster Psychology. (Volume 3) G. Reyes & G. A. Jacobs (Eds.) Greenwood Publishing: Westport, CT. 2006.
7/06 Borris, E.R. Forgiveness the Ultimate Freedom East/West – Japan, (2006).
4/06 Borris, E.R. (in Press) Forgiveness the Ultimate Freedom Purana, Wroclaw, Poland.
4/06 Borris, E.R. (in Press) Forgiveness the Ultimate Freedom Dom Quixote, Lisbon, Portugal.
3/06 Borris, E.R. (in Press) Forgiveness the Ultimate Freedom Editora Campus, Rio de Janeiro, Brazel.
3/06 Borris, E.R. Forgiveness the Ultimate Freedom Pendo Verlg GMBH and Co. Starnberg, Germany, (2006)
1/04 Alpher, D.G. & Borris, E.R., “Markets and Peace: Common Visions, Common Bridges”: Occasional Paper Number 12, January 2004, The Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy, Washington DC.
10/03 Borris, E.R., “The Healing Power of Forgiveness”: Occasional Paper Number 10, October 2003, The Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy, Washington D.C.
3/02 Borris, E.R., “Reconciliation in Post Conflict Peacebuilding: Lessons Learned from South Africa” in Second Track Diplomacy: Concepts and Techniques for Conflict Transformation, edited by John Davies and Edy Kaufman; Rowan and Littlefield 2002.
10/00 Borris, E.R., “Forgiveness and a Culture of Peace” in Peace in Action: Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution, Millennium Issue, October 2000, Volume X, Number 1, Foundation for P.E.A.C.E., Raleigh, North Carolina.
6/98 Borris, E.R., “Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and the Contribution of International Peacemaking” in The Psychology of Peacekeeping, edited by Harvey Langholtz, Prager Publishers, Westport, Connecticut, Summer 1998.
Eileen R. Borris's Blog
Forgiveness Person of the Week - The Michael Cooney Family
Forgiveness stories are inspiring. Reading about the Cooney family is no exception. On Thursday, March 18th, 2010 a hearing took place in which the family of a Duluth murder victim begged for the mercy. The entire courtroom including the judge was riveted by what they heard.
… Continue
Posted on March 20, 2010 at 12:52am —
Giving Away Your Power - And Reclaiming it Through Forgiveness
Are you still holding on to hurtful feelings about something that has happened in the past? Pain can be difficult to let go of. And yet have you ever realized that by holding on to these painful feelings you are giving away your power and control to the person who has hurt you? The truth is, when we blame another person for how we feel, we give them power and control over our emotional well-be
… ContinuePosted on March 17, 2010 at 8:32pm —
It's All My Mothers Fault - and No I will NOT Forgive Her!
I remember a friend of mine telling me how mad she was at her mother. It seemed as though every time they got into a car together they would fight. There was a litany of reasons why my friend would not forgive her mother – the least of which she was stuck in the blame game.
When w
… ContinuePosted on March 10, 2010 at 11:29pm — 2 Comments
Why Does It Have to Hurt so Much and Can Forgiveness Heal Your Pain?
Feeling hurt or being wounded is unfortunately a life experience that all of us deal with. The difficulty is that we get stuck in these feelings not recognizing that we have choices which can lead to less suffering. Three elements come into play when we become wounded.
… ContinuePosted on March 6, 2010 at 1:01am —
A Resolution on Forgiveness at the United Nations
I will be away this week and not be able to write although the work of forgiveness will be prominent in my thinking. I will be spending some time at the United Nations this week speaking to people in gaining their support of me writing a resolution on forgiveness and the healing of nations. Last November I presented a paper on forgiveness and the healing of nations to members of the United Nations, UN agencies and some NGO’s. As many of you know I care about helping people personally find for
… ContinuePosted on February 22, 2010 at 8:40pm —
Comment Wall (25 comments)
- At 10:21am on February 21, 2010,
Eileen R. Borris said…
- I sm do proud of what you and Pat are doing. Let me know what happens in Geneva. Please write something up so I can put it on my blog and/or website. I will be at the UN this week connecting with some people to help make the resolution happen. It will be a long haul and the more support I can get from member states at the UN, UN agencies, etc. the more this can happen. I am not planning on coming to the UK although I will be going to Rome to work with a group of people on developing a Council for Dignity, Forgiveness and Reconciliation in April. Since the group in Rome is paying for my transportation I don't know if I can make a stop in the UK. If there is a possibility I will let you know. I would love to meet you. I may also be in Geneva in the fall. Warmly, Eileen
- At 6:42am on February 21, 2010,
Jo Berry said… - Hi Eileen
Just read that you are involved in the healing of nations and working on a UN resolution of forgiveness, would love to know more, are you coming to the UK ever?
I am in Geneva this week speaking at the Abolition of the Death Penalty Convention, with Pat Magee. He would have been killed though death penalty if we still had the death penalty, so will be a powerful moment.
- At 7:06pm on January 13, 2010,
Eileen R. Borris said…
- How are you and what are you doing these days? I am in the process of developing forgiveness healing/training programs for countries coming out of conflict and war. I have done some of this work most recently in Liberia and want to do more of it in other countries. I am also working on a United Nations resolution on forgiveness and the healing of nations. I want to learn more about you. I am so excited that you reached out to me.
- At 6:43pm on January 13, 2010,
Jo Berry said…
- Hi Eileen
Thanks for your supportive comment, and I am so pleased you share my story! I saw your blog on forgiveness which was brilliant and thought we have much in common!
Hope we can meet up some day
Love Jo
- At 8:47pm on January 11, 2010,
Sohail Mahmood said…
- thnx
- At 10:50pm on January 3, 2010,
- hello eileen
nice meeting u here
- At 9:19am on October 3, 2009,
Corina Simon said… - Thank you Dr. Borris for contacting me. Your experience and interests were very relevant to me. Would I find in your book about your international work? I'd like to read more on that and share among the groups that I work with: Global Alliance for Ministries and Departments of Peace, The Romanian Peace Institute (PATRIR) and World Spirit Youth Council. Best regards, Corina
I also saw your call for forgiveness stories and I immediately contacted a friend whose sharing one night brought me to tears of gratitude for her story.
- At 5:37pm on October 2, 2009,
St.Thomas SpreadingEagle said…
- This my Friend Pamela over on Facebook she talks about the Heart Forgiveness and also has given Links.Just wanted to Share this with You.St.Thomas SpreadingEagle,Shaman/Minister.Here Pamela Article; Pamela Gregory September 27 at 12:42pm Reply
Hello Everyone,
I would like to share an experience I had a few months back that was quite pivotal regarding forgiveness. The following event took place a few weeks after I experienced the process called Heart Forgiveness.
------------------------------------
Just hours before I was to do a live radio interview, I went to a favorite park to spend some quiet, meditative time. As I was walking back to my car, I saw that the rear window had been smashed out and that my purse and wallet had been stolen from the backseat. What happened next was the most strange of all... the only thought that crossed my mind was, "leaving your purse in the car was a really dumb thing to do!"
The police officer who came to the scene to fill out the report was very angry, telling me how "out of control and FURIOUS" he would be had this happened to him. What was so bizarre is... I realized I wasn't angry in the least! Anger just wasn't there...anywhere. How strange! I didn’t feel violated…I felt NOTHING other than slight annoyance. In all honesty, I was laughing at myself for being so careless... How cool is that!
The next day I asked myself, "Do I need to forgive this person?" The reply was, "there was nothing to forgive." (Even though the loss I incurred was well over a thousand dollars as my insurance deductible was too high for reimbursement.) Wow…how interesting! It occurred to me at that moment that I was “UNOFFENDABLE!” (The 4th and final session of the Heart Forgiveness process.) What a relief to realize that when given this “test,” how I was able to remain calm and free of anger!
Imagine how much worse I could have made this whole situation had I also gotten angry over it! How does my anger at the person who committed this act HELP me in any way? It doesn’t of course…it only makes it WORSE for ME. Had I allowed myself to get really upset by this event, it probably would have made me sick as we KNOW anger and stress weakens the immune system. I also could have called 10 people and shared my anger and loss with them, further perpetuating the negativity and upset…but chose not to obviously. Spreading bad news never makes either party feel better, it only feeds it, yet so many people can't wait to share their woes with others... Have you ever wondered why?
I realize having your car broken into isn’t a really big deal in the scheme of things… but it’s the point I want to make here. HOW you react to what happens in your life is ALWAYS in your control. Think of the times when someone has wronged you that you’ve lost it and gotten angry. Did it make it better? No…quite the contrary. All this anger is cumulative over a lifetime and takes a major toll on your health. If you allow a person or situation to anger you, you give up your Life Energy, which is the very thing that keeps you thriving and ALIVE.
Living in a place of peace and well-being is our NATURAL state of being. Anger is not. Anger is a learned skill...what is learned can be unlearned WHEN we choose to think and react differently. Dis-ease comes from being out of balance, out of ease.
It was so awesome to discover that my world wasn’t rocked in the least because I am in control of what I will allow to upset me and what I will not. In this case, choosing wasn't even necessary, as be-ing in a place of balance and peace is now my NATURAL state of being. I am in control of my energy...period! When we are in control of our ENERGY, we are FREE!
You too can live free of anger, to be instantly forgiving...to live UNOFFENDABLE...but you must learn to forgive from your HEART. Forgiving from your heart resolves the pain and upset at the root, as opposed to partial forgiveness which so often happens when forgiveness is attempted from the head. To learn more about Heart Forgiveness or to listen to the blog talk radio show where I discuss it in depth, go to http://heartforgiveness.com/?p=12
Perhaps now you understand why I'm so passionate about sharing this tool called Heart Forgiveness with this group. Thank you Dr. Carlson, founder of Core Health and Heart Forgiveness!! Freeing humankind really is achievable when we are at Peace and are PURE in our CORE!
Let go of the anger that keeps YOU imprisoned. Choose to forgive from your HEART today..
Share LOVE All Ways~
Pamela
PS. As always, all Forgiveness Healing messages can be translated in most lauguages under the articles tab on my website, http://pamelagregory.com
- At 5:33pm on October 2, 2009,
- I am Happy and Honored and Blessed to Have you as a Friend and Partner for Global Peacemaking and Healing.St.Thomas SpreadindEagle,Shaman/Minister.I am Over on my Facebook site under my Fathers Irish Name Thomas Faggard,My Indigenous Native American Name,is St.Thomas SpreadingEagle.Shaman/Minister.
- At 3:24pm on September 14, 2009,
Mostafa B. Elostaz said… - Nice to meet you too, Eileen. Yes, indeed, we do have similar interests. I hope that we end up meeting some day. Hope all is well.
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Webinar, Nonviolent Strategy, Tactics, and Collective Identity, International Center on Nonviolent Conflict
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